Feb 02, 2009
Jake Warner: Auntie, what's up? You haven't checked in for a few months.
Auntie Nolo: The world's been melting down so fast I've had trouble conjuring a smile.
Jake Warner: C'mon, this isn't the first financial panic you've lived through. How about a little debt and bankruptcy humor? I'll get us going with my favorite:Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity without hell.
Auntie Nolo: Okay, here's a remark Waldo Emerson told me one day after the financial panic in 1837, right after Van Buren took over from Old Hickory:
It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy -- that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
Jake Warner: Well, that's a winner in the "the more things change, the more they stay the same" category, but it's not exactly a belly-buster.
Auntie Nolo: Maybe you'll like this one from the comic Joey Adams better:
Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in you pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.
Or how about:
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Jake Warner: But how about Oscar Wilde? He was a funny guy who was broke.
Auntie Nolo: That's because most funny guys would make a better living running a lemonade stand in front of a foreclosure sale than telling jokes, but yes, I do remember a remark that pretty well sums up Oscar's attitude toward being in debt:
A man who pays his bills on time is soon forgotten.
Jake Warner: That was fun -- and Auntie? Don't stay away so long next time.
Auntie Nolo: I'll be back as soon as I drop down to Texas and check in with Kinky Friedman. After all, anybody who could say, "When the horse dies, get off!" must know a lot about depressions!