Sep 13, 2008

Auntie Nolo's Funniest Cases

Jake Warner: Auntie, I'm sure you've heard loads of big cases over the years -- the Scopes trial, the Lindbergh kidnapping, O.J.'s murder trial -- why I bet you've heard all the great lawyers!

Auntie Nolo: Well, I do watch my share of high-profile cases, but it's the little ones I really love. By and large, the fancier the lawyers, the more they bore me. It's an ego thing mostly. In fact, I'm just introducing a new product, a CD called "Auntie Nolo's Insomnia Cure," which contains an assortment of U.S. Supreme Court arguments.

Jake Warner: No doubt you'll put Ambien out of business. But how about telling us about a few unheard-of cases that kept you laughing. And hey, maybe you can publish them as "Auntie Nolo's Stay Awake Program." After all, it's hard to laugh and sleep at the same time.

Auntie Nolo: Well, there was the time I was sitting in Traffic Court when this little old man hugging a very big dictionary fought his parking ticket by claiming he was simply following directions when he parked under a "Fine for Parking" sign.

Jake Warner: C'mon, did that really happen? It's kind of like being ticketed for speeding through a school zone and claiming that the sign "Slow Children At Play" was only meant to announce a school for the mentally challenged. Or that "Drive Thru Window" is an invitation to bring your Chevy right on in!

Auntie Nolo: Plain English should be a bulletproof defense. I mean, really, if a sign says "No Littering -- $500 Fine," shouldn't tossing a candy wrapper out of the window be free?

Jake Warner: Okay, if we're just going to be silly, how about a few of my favorites:

Lane Closed to Ease Congestion

Caution, Water on the Road During Rain

Parking for Drive-Thru Window Only